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philip

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Jul 20 11 7:48 AM

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#1 [url]

Sep 9 11 5:26 PM

talking dog joke
A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale '
He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

'You talk?' he asks. 

'Yep,' the Lab replies. 

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?' 



The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young…

I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA.
 

In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.' 

'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running... 

But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger…
 
So I decided to settle down…
 
I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.'

 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.' 

The guy is amazed…

He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. 

'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

'Ten dollars?  This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?' 

'Because he's a liar… He's never been out of the yard'

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#2 [url]

Oct 7 11 6:39 PM

Hello Shelagh
Sorry for late reply, Kath { my wife) thanks you for your kind thoughts, the all clear has been given as long as the pills are taken as prescribed. I got various comments from family & friends re having to put up with her for another 50years! ( married 50years Feb 4 2012)
             Kind regards Ted 

Harpenden 1949/53,flat 14, Sister Daisy Sherwood.There with my brother .Left Jan 53.

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dave

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#6 [url]

Oct 16 11 5:12 PM

Thanks Roy,
I didn't post expecting ever body to appreciate or be interested but when nobody commented at all I began to wonder if anyone had even looked at it or had it caused offence. Having looked at it again myself the only offence I could see was the grammar.

Malc s.
I don't know what a £20 note is either but I have a 10/- one!

(I have responded here re your post about £20 so as to direct off topic chat away from the original discussion.)

Had a sample of Adams Broadside yesterday, not bad. I was going to ask if you have tried it Malc s. but I think that maybe a silly question.

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malsal

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#7 [url]

Oct 16 11 6:16 PM

Hi Dave at the risk of offending Roy I liked your Long and happy marriage so much I have forwarded to to 2 friends ,hope I haven't infringed your copy rights .I have had Broadside in the past but have taken  Lesley my wife out fore dinner today and it wasn't just to cash in my voucher for a free Hobgoblin  Cheers Malcs 
PS  Roy I'm still waiting for you to send me a £20 note so I know what one is ,then I can sign it and send it back

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#10 [url]

Oct 18 11 12:56 AM

Philip,
 Is it Tongue?, but 7 quid!
Malc T


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#19 [url]

Oct 18 11 8:56 PM

Well that eliminates Shylock's requirement of a pound of flesh as collateral for a loan in The Merchant of Venice, then.
Do put us our of our misery and tell us, Philip!
Shelagh

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dave

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#20 [url]

Oct 18 11 9:11 PM

Good one Shelagh

It looks 'orrible. Are you sure it is not something you ran over Philip? I think I can just make out the tyre marks.
It looks more like suet than meat. Now there's a thought, good old fashioned suet dumplings in a lovely thick soup, just right on a cold day.
We are expecting our first frost tomorrow night as it happens.

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